I was having a discussion the other day about being “in love”. As we talked, a lot of questions were being asked, such as do people get “in love” confused with being “in lust”? Is being “in love” a permanent mindset, or is it temporary moments of elation brought on by your significant other? The most important one, however, is probably the most unanswered one: how do you know when you are in love?
Now before I really begin, let me put out a disclaimer. These words are simply my thoughts. They’re not etched in stone anywhere. They’re not written as any type of man-law. Just how I view some things in life. Not particularly my life, but life as I see it around me, whether it’s mines, friends, or just common observation. They are also just opinions from me and others.
Let’s start with how do you know when you are in love. You can kind of pinpoint liking someone, or maybe even loving someone. But who knows when you cross that threshold into being in love with someone? I was once asked how did I know I was in love. I responded that you just know, which is the typical answer you give when you don’t actually know! Lol..but truthfully, I think, first of all, being in love isn’t a longterm feeling. Meaning, you just not always in love with someone 24/7. Not saying you fall out of love. But there are those moments of pure bliss, and then there are those times when he/she has gotten on your nerves to the point that you can’t be around them. Now this person that you was so madly “in love” with 3 days ago is the spawn of Satan in your eyes. I refuse to believe that you can be in love & hate someone all at the same time. I think being in love is measured by the moments of elation that you experience at that time. And sometimes those moments tend to last longer than others. And sometimes some people tend to experience them far longer than others around you, which is why they can’t understand when you tell them you are in love. As far as how do you know if/when you are/have been in love, it’s different for each person. Some people say being in love is when you don’t wanna go on without that person, because you can’t. Or, to take parts of a quote from ‘Barbershop’, “you hafta be ready to put the smackdown on God if He disrespected your woman/man”. Now I think that’s when love turns people crazy, and you might need to leave that person alone if they think about slapping God, but you get my point! Being ready to go to any extreme to ensure that person’s happiness. They are you everything. But in all honesty, I don’t know how you are supposed to know.
With me, I think there are 3 stages: “like”, “love”, and then “in love”. To like someone simply means to be attracted to them. I think this applies to a lot of people that we either have an attraction for, but just haven’t acted on it. Or it could be for people that genuinely make us happy to be around them, but we don’t necessarily want to be with them in a serious situation. Everybody has somebody(s) that they like. It’s the most common affection of these 3. I think a strong like is the same thing as love. It’s just like saying I’m 5’12, as opposed to 6 feet tall. I think the most recurring misconception of love is people think it’s the same as being “in love”. Love is defined as “ to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person”. It’s also described as “to have a STRONG LIKING for”. I think some people are afraid to admit love because it makes them seem “vulnerable”. What they fail to realize is that if you care for someone strongly, chances are you have love for them. And if you have love for someone, what makes it not loving them?? It’s just a different wording. Being in love is the ultimate. Thas when, during those moments, you are ready to die for that person. Ready to give them the world. Being is love can be argued as the same as having a strong love for someone. However, I think someone can really love someone, but for whatever reason, they are not in love with that person. They care deeply for them. When you are in love with someone, they can propose to you and you won’t hesitate to say yes.
The line between love/lust is just as thin as the one between love/hate. Some people are quick to say “no it’s not lust, it’s love”. But if their mate was to get overweight, or not look as good as when they first met, they not feeling them the same anymore. Love conquers all, so if it’s love then regardless of what they look like on the outside, they didn’t change on the inside. And if they did, that just means as they got bigger, so did the things you liked about them inside. Lol. Lust is intense sexual desire, which is a BIG distraction in a relationship. A lot of people end up staying with someone who doesn’t respect them, doesn’t love them, beats them, doesn’t compliment or complement them, because of lust, which they confuse themselves to believe is love. Ask yourself this: if your partner could no longer perform sexually, could you continue to maintain what y’all had, or would you feel the need to leave/creep?? That’s how you can distinguish lust and love.
Well I was just sitting at work passing time and decided to blog about something, and since this was something recently discussed, I started with this. Feel free to comment as an adult. And if there’s something you don’t agree with, then remember it’s my opinion. Plain and simple.
No comments:
Post a Comment