Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Lie??

     This is a topic that I seen on twitter, and while I was in the shower I gave it more thought(for some reason, in the shower or on the highway is where I do some of my best thinking). The topic at hand is, do numbers(sexual partners) really matter. This may be a little sensitive to some, but we're going in anyway. No pun intended.

     Do you want to know how many people your mate has slept with? Me personally, I don't think I would ever ask that question. Maybe it's because that was then, and this is now. Maybe it's because I don't want to know. Some of the responses I have seen were "Yeah. You don't buy a car without knowing how many miles it has", or a decent one was "yeah because you want to know what kind of decision-making they do". Then of course there were the "no because the past is the past". Those seem to ring common for people full of optimism. So again I ask, do you want to know?

     It's funny how men and women generally respond to this question. If a woman asks a man how many females he has slept with, the guy will more than likely use the "past is the past" statement. The question will get sidestepped because men don't feel the need to express what he has done before you. He may feel that she can't handle the truth, or worse, will throw it back in his face during argument time. (Ex. "It's 2:00am. Where you been. Probably out there adding another name to your list since you never seemed to learn to keep it in your pants!). So to avoid the drama, a man will try to take your eyes off the past and focus them on the future. If a man asks a woman how many guys she has slept with, the outcome could be a little different. She may use the "past is the past" line. But the common "myth" is that she will give you a number. What number it is, who knows! She may give you the number of boyfriends she has had, the number of lovers that she actually enjoyed, or she may give what she consider a reasonable number to past inspection. Lol. Seriously though, she may even just be honest. But the thing is, she will give a number. Why? Because she knows how soft man is. Oh sure they are the toughest thing around on the outside, but on the inside lies one of the most fragile things known to mankind: an ego. He wants to feel that he got a good one. Doesn't matter what she does for him now. Man just don't want to be that guy walking around with a woman that the whole city knows as promiscuous. His ego can't handle it because he focuses too much on his image. And woman, being the caterer that she tends to be for her man, strokes his ego. She knows that a little lie here could lead to a lifetime of happiness. And because of how some men would react, can you blame her?

     Sex is everywhere. Your radio, your movies or videos, internet. It's even used to describe things. How many times have you heard of an object being called sexy? Or heard the terms shoe-gasm or ear-gasm? Seems like nowadays everything reverts back to sex. Obtaining sexual partners is probably easier now then ever before. With that being said, the average number of partners is probably higher now than 10, 20 years ago. For men AND women. I say that because a lot of men are still going by the double standard rule. I don't agree with it, but I know how men think. In their mind, women are wired differently then men. Women are "supposed" to care more while men possess the animalistic instincts of the wild, so therefore women aren't "supposed" to have as many partners as men. While some may feel that's the case, women are just as equal as man in society, so a "hoe" refers to both genders. And men, please remember that this is not a badge of honor.

    Numbers don't tell a whole story. Comedian Lil Duval said it best: "the biggest hoes are the ones looking for love". What this means is a person who's looking for love meets someone, takes a liking to them, and then do what they think they need to do in order to keep/make that person happy. Then 3 months later after it doesn't work out, they are back out there looking for love again, in all the wrong places. This practice may increase numbers dramatically, but it doesn't define the person. They would be the same person if they fell in love after the 2nd try. Their only flaw is wanting love but going about it the wrong way. Another scenario with numbers is, say for example a woman had 10 partners and another had 5. The one with 10 was looking for love but constantly ending up with the wrong type of guys, whereas the one with 5 was rotating her guys in and out, some at the same time(threesomes, 4somes, etc). Would you look at the numbers, or the actions? 

     At the end of the day, numbers are numbers. Don't judge someone because the number they have isn't the number you think they should have. Because if you believe in God, whether your number is 1 or 100 and they aren't your spouse, you are equally wrong. So stop dwelling on the past. If you are with someone you are accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.