I BLEED Carolina Blue! lol...yeah, I'm a UNC fan, so all Dookies, you know what it is! When arguing with my homies about Carolina, sometimes I have to use my trump card because Carolina will disappoint me at the most inconvenient time. My trump card? Peep the pic above. The greatest basketball player to ever do it. AND he's wearing a UNC jersey. So I say, whenever Duke(or any other college team) can produce the greatest, then come see me. Is it childish? Probably. Is it true? Hell yeah! lol.

I didn't attend UNC. And my love for Carolina goes deeper than just choosing a team. I have a deep connection to the UNC hospital staff for saving the life of my brother, and for that I am forever grateful. So when I say I'm riding with them forever, it's not just a statement. It's a promise.

Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Lie??

     This is a topic that I seen on twitter, and while I was in the shower I gave it more thought(for some reason, in the shower or on the highway is where I do some of my best thinking). The topic at hand is, do numbers(sexual partners) really matter. This may be a little sensitive to some, but we're going in anyway. No pun intended.

     Do you want to know how many people your mate has slept with? Me personally, I don't think I would ever ask that question. Maybe it's because that was then, and this is now. Maybe it's because I don't want to know. Some of the responses I have seen were "Yeah. You don't buy a car without knowing how many miles it has", or a decent one was "yeah because you want to know what kind of decision-making they do". Then of course there were the "no because the past is the past". Those seem to ring common for people full of optimism. So again I ask, do you want to know?

     It's funny how men and women generally respond to this question. If a woman asks a man how many females he has slept with, the guy will more than likely use the "past is the past" statement. The question will get sidestepped because men don't feel the need to express what he has done before you. He may feel that she can't handle the truth, or worse, will throw it back in his face during argument time. (Ex. "It's 2:00am. Where you been. Probably out there adding another name to your list since you never seemed to learn to keep it in your pants!). So to avoid the drama, a man will try to take your eyes off the past and focus them on the future. If a man asks a woman how many guys she has slept with, the outcome could be a little different. She may use the "past is the past" line. But the common "myth" is that she will give you a number. What number it is, who knows! She may give you the number of boyfriends she has had, the number of lovers that she actually enjoyed, or she may give what she consider a reasonable number to past inspection. Lol. Seriously though, she may even just be honest. But the thing is, she will give a number. Why? Because she knows how soft man is. Oh sure they are the toughest thing around on the outside, but on the inside lies one of the most fragile things known to mankind: an ego. He wants to feel that he got a good one. Doesn't matter what she does for him now. Man just don't want to be that guy walking around with a woman that the whole city knows as promiscuous. His ego can't handle it because he focuses too much on his image. And woman, being the caterer that she tends to be for her man, strokes his ego. She knows that a little lie here could lead to a lifetime of happiness. And because of how some men would react, can you blame her?

     Sex is everywhere. Your radio, your movies or videos, internet. It's even used to describe things. How many times have you heard of an object being called sexy? Or heard the terms shoe-gasm or ear-gasm? Seems like nowadays everything reverts back to sex. Obtaining sexual partners is probably easier now then ever before. With that being said, the average number of partners is probably higher now than 10, 20 years ago. For men AND women. I say that because a lot of men are still going by the double standard rule. I don't agree with it, but I know how men think. In their mind, women are wired differently then men. Women are "supposed" to care more while men possess the animalistic instincts of the wild, so therefore women aren't "supposed" to have as many partners as men. While some may feel that's the case, women are just as equal as man in society, so a "hoe" refers to both genders. And men, please remember that this is not a badge of honor.

    Numbers don't tell a whole story. Comedian Lil Duval said it best: "the biggest hoes are the ones looking for love". What this means is a person who's looking for love meets someone, takes a liking to them, and then do what they think they need to do in order to keep/make that person happy. Then 3 months later after it doesn't work out, they are back out there looking for love again, in all the wrong places. This practice may increase numbers dramatically, but it doesn't define the person. They would be the same person if they fell in love after the 2nd try. Their only flaw is wanting love but going about it the wrong way. Another scenario with numbers is, say for example a woman had 10 partners and another had 5. The one with 10 was looking for love but constantly ending up with the wrong type of guys, whereas the one with 5 was rotating her guys in and out, some at the same time(threesomes, 4somes, etc). Would you look at the numbers, or the actions? 

     At the end of the day, numbers are numbers. Don't judge someone because the number they have isn't the number you think they should have. Because if you believe in God, whether your number is 1 or 100 and they aren't your spouse, you are equally wrong. So stop dwelling on the past. If you are with someone you are accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.

Music is...

I don't know about you, but when I hear this I just mellow out. No words needed, just melodies emanating from the trumpet, engulfing you into a warm embrace. Exquisite sounds, like caviar for my ears. This brings me to a tranquil state...puts me at peace. Music is my drug, my lover, my rest haven. It takes me up to the highest of highs, down to the lowest of lows. It sympathizes with me, having experienced any problem that I have. Then in a split second, it energizes me. It takes me to a party, dancing with me as if it had long legs, a soft backside, and the gracefulness of a ballerina. I am in love with music, and I know music loves me back. And not just any love. It loves me unconditionally. The slightest touch from me, and music is instantly turned on, ready to take me for a ride. Ready to erase the worries of that day. Music is my wife, my mistress and my babymama. Music is my filet mignon, my Louis XIII. Music is my loud, purple haze and kush all in one. Music is my Maybach, my G5, my yacht and my Ducati. Music is my therapist, my wingman, my Ambien. Music isn't quite my savior because I have one of those, but music is my heart.

Trust Issues

What's going on folks. I stepped away for awhile, but I'm back like Diddy's rap career(I think it's okay for him to stop now. Diddy, we begging you!). But you know what it is. After discussions among friends, I blog about it. So without further ado, let's get started on the subject at hand: trust.

Trust is a big word. Not literally, of course. It has several definitions, as it could be used as a noun or a verb. But the main definition that I prefer is "firm reliance on the integrity, ability, etc., of a person or thing". Now that is deep. Whether you trust someone to hit the game-winning shot, or trust them with your heart, you totally believe in whatever they say or do. If you have been at practice and seen your teammate hit a shot from a particular spot on the basketball court and he's never missed, when it comes to gametime and he's called upon to make that shot to win the game, you will be confident that the ball is going in the basket. There's no way they can miss after being so perfect in practice. So how does one apply that same trust into their relationship? For starters, it has to be applied from the beginning. Then it has to be maintained, because having to regain trust is a hard task, IF you are given that privilege. Even if that is the case, it's harder to achieve that same level of trust as before. Suppose that same teammate is called upon to hit the big shot, but you have never seen him make it before. This time, he misses it. Do you think the coach will call upon him to take the shot next time? Probably not. But at the end of the day, sure a person can do the right thing, be honest with their words, but trust in relationships isn't necessarily a tangible thing. For example, you can't take trust to the gym, watch it work out, then make a decision on how strong yours is. This is something that you just have to take a chance on, unfortunately. To have trust in a relationship means to have total faith in a person's words and actions, and it won't happen overnight.

"Confident Expectation" is another definition of trust. It is very similar to the first definition. How many times did we see Michael Jordan take the last shot of the game to win it for his team? And when he pulled up, you could see the expectation on his teammates' faces. They knew they were going to win. But he didn't make all of them. Yet each time the team was in that situation, everybody knew who was getting the ball. But Jordan had to earn that trust from his team. Being put into that situation, being the one that is believed in requires proven results. Can, without a shadow of a doubt, say that you can trust ur mates' decision-making and not second guess it? And vice versa? Oh it's easy to trust with the small decisions. But what about when he's going to a party and you heard that the girl all his boys nicknamed Jawbone was going to be there? Or what about when her and her homegirl who's a little wild go to see their favorite singer and they got invited to chill backstage. Do you have confidence in what is expected of him/her? This should be the easiest if you know your mate. But it should also be easy period because there is no cause for stressing yourself over something that you ultimately don't have any control over. A person will do what they want to if it's something they really desire, but a trustworthy person will make sure it lines up with the expectations of their relationship.

Another thing about trust is you have to distinguish your mate from everyone else. If they were the same as others, I don't think you would be with them. So just because a person says or does something that you've seen in someone who's lost your trust doesn't mean you should throw them in that category as well. Prime example: I've heard women say that some of the biggest lies men tell when it comes to their cell phone is "my phone died", "I didn't get a text from you" or "I was sleep". The reason SOME guys tell these lies is because these things actually happen, and they need a lie so they grab on to something that is honest yet simple because their mind need to be able to stick to their lie instead of making & keeping up a story. Like I always say, the fakers are messing it up for the real guys out here bc the fakers see what real guys are doing and try to recycle it to other women. This produces the "heard it all before syndrome" which could lead to a person missing out on something good. With that being said, don't look at WHAT is coming out of their mouth and automatically assume it's a lie. You need to look at WHO is speaking, and that should determine if what is being said is a lie. If you trust someone, you won't put them in the group with everyone else. If you feel that you don't know a person well enough to know if they are speaking the truth, then sometimes you just have to go out on a limb. Unless it's something blatantly foolish, believe them. Trust has to be built. It's like a sandcastle. It stays intact until something comes to knock it down.

Okay, it's late now. I need to go to bed. But the moral of the story is stop being paranoid and give people a chance. A person can't earn trust if they have to break through a brickwall just to show that they are trustworthy. On the flip side, don't be a dummy out here in these streets letting people use you because you THINK you have confident expectations of them when they don't even have any of themselves. Be smart. Well folks, I'm out. Love love and hate hate.